Imposter Syndrome
“I’ve written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out,’”
Have you ever felt like a fraud? Like you’re not ‘blank’ enough to do x. Not experienced enough, qualified enough, smart enough etc. etc. Well then you’ve experienced imposter syndrome. I think to be honest we’ve all felt like that at some point in our lives. But what’s it actually about, why do we experience it and can it ever be a good thing?
Imposter Syndrome was first discussed by Imes and Clance in 1978 who described it as individuals, usually high achieving women, who were experiencing ‘intellectual phoniness’, that although they had achieved academically and professionally, they believed they were not really very smart and that they had fooled everyone into thinking that they were.
I’ve been experiencing imposter syndrome a lot recently. I had been toying with the idea of moving into the coaching field as it was calling to me as a career. I wanted to help people and to have more freedom to work with people on a personalised, individual level. But I didn’t feel like I had my own life together enough. Who would come to me for coaching when I’m still figuring my own life out! I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have a perfect life. I’m on this journey too. (I’m not sure we ever do have it all figured out…)
“The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler,”
But I couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting to be a coach. It just felt right for me. So I started seeing a business coach. Partly to give me a kick up the backside to take my business seriously and give it a go. Partly because quality coaches/counsellors/professionals have ongoing supervision so building that professional relationship would be beneficial. And partly because I was doubting myself and feeling like a big old imposter.
My coach is amazing. She often asks me the most profound, thought provoking question. It’s such a simple question but so powerful. Why not? When I told her I couldn’t be a coach. Why not? Hmm, good point… I didn’t really have a valid reason (apart from the imposter syndrome stuff). When I said I’d love to have a podcast but couldn’t do that. Why not? Good point. Again. Because I felt like an imposter I was undervaluing myself and doubting what was possible. That simple question made me actually look for valid reasons why I couldn’t do said thing. And I came up with nothing. I can develop my skills through training and practice, I can record and release a podcast. There’s no reason why I can’t. And when I realised that, well, I just needed to get on and do it.
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
Another valuable thing that helped me to face up to my imposter syndrome and shut it down (temporarily, it keeps popping back up!) was reading an offer for a coaching training course being offered online by another coach. The tag line was along the lines of ‘take this course, because you don’t want to spend years studying psychology.’ And I thought, but I have! I have a Masters in Psychology. I’ve taught Psychology A Level for 5 years and been an examiner for 4. Yes coaching is more than just that, it’s about the coaching skills too etc. Here was something clearly showing that I did in fact have (some of) the knowledge to do this.
I’m a very logical, science based person. I like to know how and why things work. I can go with my intuition and gut too but I tend to be ruled by my head. I like to think of life as a series of experiments. I try something out, see how it works out and then go from there. I also like proof. So here was some proof that possibly I may have some of what is required to do this. So, experiment. Actually do it and see what happens. I’d been developing my own programme, informed by my own experiences shifting my mindset, so why not try out coaching and pilot my programme at the same time. That way I can develop my coaching skills, refine my offer and get some valuable feedback. And that’s what I’ve done.
Top take away:
Experiment. Try things out. Obviously be safe. But if you’re thinking about making a career change and you’re feeling like an imposter, take a scientific approach. Weigh up the evidence against you being able to do it (why not). You may find there isn’t really any! And give it a go, see what happens. Reflect on the experience. And repeat.
