Why sex education is so important for long term mental health
If you have been reading my blogs since I joined the Psykhe team or listened to my podcast with Hannah back in September 2020 you may remember that I am passionate about sex education and am working towards being able to teach it on a full-time basis.
Well, I’m really excited to be able to say that, after completing the Teaching Relationship and Sex Education course with Acet UK this month I am now another step closer to that dream.
I had the best time on the course, which ran over three weeks, and met some amazing, like-minded people. It was packed full of information (thank goodness we will be receiving the presentation slides because even with my frantic note writing there was a massive amount to absorb) that I believe to be important for both young people and adults of all ages. I’m so sad it is over but I am now part of a community of sex educators who get access to ongoing training so I’m very excited about that. I even attended today’s training session even though I only finished the course yesterday - what can I say, I’m a nerd!
The most important thing for me about my experience over the last three weeks is that it has cemented my belief that sex education is so much more than just teaching children how babies are made or trying to scare them out of having sex at all with gruesome tales of STIs. I believe that honest, inclusive and enjoyable relationships and sex education has the power to improve the mental health of young people now and as they go through their lives.
Now that may seem like a bold statement but really good sex education can help young people with their self-esteem, it can help them learn more about their sexuality or gender identity and show them that they aren’t alone if they feel that they don’t quite fit with society’s idea of the norm. It teaches them the difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships, enabling them to spot red flags and recognise when someone is treating them badly. Equally, it teaches them respect and compassion for others. It can even teach them how to critically view what they see in the media and to recognise what is real and what has been enhanced, photoshopped or filtered. In a world heavily influenced by what is seen on the likes of Snapchat and Instagram, this is a much needed lesson.
Sex education should empower people to get to know their bodies, when to recognise when something isn’t quite right and they may need to seek medical help but as importantly, how they like to be touched and what feels good for them. Why is it important for young people to understand this? Because they have the right to control who touches them and how, whether that is in a platonic sense or a sexual one, as and when they decide the time is right for them to enter a sexual relationship of any kind. They should expect that their consent be sought when someone wants to touch them and likewise they should seek consent from others who they want to touch.
Contrary to what many may believe, sex education doesn’t encourage young people to go off and have loads of sex, instead it enables them to make informed choices about when and how they have sex, who they have it with and how to protect themselves when that time comes. Always making it clear that it should only happen when they feel ready and that choosing not to at that time (or any time!) is a perfectly ok choice too. With this in mind, it also teaches them how to respect their friends’ choices as well, thus reducing the part that peer pressure can often play in situations involving young people.
One subject that I think that adults tend to shy away from when talking with young people about sex is the importance of pleasure. Again, you may be thinking that it’s problematic to teach young people about this but by being honest with them about why many people do have sex (spoiler alert: we’re not all at it to make babies and no matter how hard we try to pretend, young people already know this!) we can provide them with the knowledge that, when the time is right, sex is something that they actively participate in rather than something that is done to them, building their confidence to speak up when they aren’t enjoying something and want it to stop.
The bottom line is, young people will always have questions and if we don’t provide them with honest answers they will go in search of the answers themselves and this will often lead them to read or view things that are untrue, unhealthy or even downright dangerous and could have a lasting negative impact on their relationships and mental health for years to come. So, for me, it’s simple. Sex education should be provided to every single young person, giving them the tools to make choices that are 100% right for them as well as respect for others and enable them to go on to have healthy romantic relationships and friendships in the future while also enjoying a healthy relationship with themselves.
** If you have enjoyed reading my thoughts on this I would love it if you’d follow me on Instagram - @Lea_sexpositive
