Hate Valentine’s Day? Let’s change the narrative and make it all about YOU!
I’m going to start this blog by saying, I don’t know how I feel about Valentine’s day. I want to be one of those people that hates it because, you know, commercialism but I LOVE Halloween, so that would be really hypocritical of me. However, the difference between Valentines Day and Halloween, in my mind, is that for those that aren’t completely loved up, are going through a difficult break up or are currently in lockdown with someone who isn’t good for their mental wellbeing, the lead up to Valentine’s day can feel pretty shitty.
I’m not saying that those who are loved up shouldn’t embrace 14th February, it’s certainly a day that may mean different things to people at different times of their lives and if you want to go all out with hearts, roses and chocolates then you absolutely should embrace that joy. In fact, why not embrace the joy even if your relationship status isn’t quite how you’d like it to be?
I recently heard a therapist talking about how the way we talk to ourselves will affect the way we feel and by simply changing the narrative we have the power to improve our mindset. Now, that’s not easy when it comes to things like trauma and deep rooted mental health disorders, these are things where therapy and/or medication may be needed to help find that kinder inner voice. However, it did get me thinking about areas where we can change the narrative and make things that currently don’t make us feel good, feel better. Valentine’s Day was one of those things. With this in mind I have thought up a few ways that you can turn Valentine’s day from a day that you’d rather just get over and done with to a day that is all about you:
Buy yourself something - It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant but if you want some flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear or a bottle of Jack Daniels (I know that’s not just me!!) and you are able to then buy it for yourself. Why? Because you are worthy of it.
Share the love with others - Why not buy a little gift or send a card to a friend or loved one who’s company always makes you feel good. Many friendships last longer than relationships and those should be celebrated. If you want to share the love even further you could buy a gift from a small business owner who would do a little happy dance on receiving that order.
Have a date with yourself - This could mean cooking your favourite meal, watching a film that always makes you feel good or even stuffing your face with the chocolates I told you to buy yourself!! Make time for yourself to do something that you enjoy.
Have a date with friends - Of course right now this will have to be on Facetime or Zoom but a good chinwag with mates that are in a similar boat will help you feel less alone and you can even have a good laugh about all the rubbish dates you’ve been on and bullets you’ve dodged.
Remember that great sex doesn’t have to be partnered sex! - An orgasm can work wonders for your mental health as it gives you a hit of dopamine and serotonin which help you feel relaxed, aid better sleep and can act as a mild pain relief. So, get yourself in the mood and get your freak on if that’s something you are comfortable with. If not, romance your body in ways that do feel comfortable, perhaps a bath, a face mask or simply a favourite set of pjs or onesie. Do what works for you to make your body feel all warm and fuzzy.
I hope these tips give you some ideas of how you can change the narrative and make Valentine’s day work for you and remember (other than lockdown restrictions, of course) there are no rules. Fancy watching a Christmas film, do it. Want to dip crisps in ice cream, definitely do it!
If I haven’t helped at all, remember that 14th February is just one day so be kind to yourself in whatever way you can and from then on the shops and adverts will have moved on to the next thing they can cash in on. From that point, Halloween is just 258 days away - not that I’ll be counting!!
