Small things make a difference - Mental Health Awareness Month
Have you ever driven somewhere in your car or travelled on public transport only to find that when you reach your destination you struggle to get up out of your seat and go into wherever it is you are meant to be? Not because you don’t want to be there necessarily but because the effort it takes feels a little too much, so you sit there just trying to conjure up the energy.
If you struggle with your mental health then you will most likely know how some of the smallest, most every day tasks can feel enormous. For me, getting out of the car is one of those things and there are times when I will sit there, outside my own house, for ten minutes or so. In my head this feels silly because my home is so much more comfortable than the car and my two favourite people are in there (my partner and my dog!) but in that moment, getting out of the car feels like climbing a mountain.
This is just one example of how mental health struggles can sap us of our energy and leave us completely overwhelmed by the smallest of things.
October is Mental Health Awareness Month and so I wanted to use this blog to tell you that if you only have enough energy to focus on one or two small things today, make them self care. Stand under a hot shower for five minutes even if you don’t have enough energy to wash your hair, clean your teeth or even just put fresh clothes on. It's absolutely ok to look after yourself before thinking of others during times like this, although I do appreciate that if you are responsible for the care of vulnerable people, children or animals, sometimes this is easier said than done. My point is, you don’t have to use what energy you have getting everything that needs doing, done. Instead prioritise what is absolutely necessary for others and looking after yourself.
And, if you love someone who you can see is struggling right now, try not to take it personally if they cancel plans at the last minute, don’t answer your calls or text you back or sit in the car outside your house for 10 minutes staring at their phone or into space. Instead here are a few ways you can help them:
When they cancel plans rather than reply with “you’ll feel better when you get there” try saying something like “that’s absolutely fine, take all the time you need or if there is something you’d rather do instead I’d be up for that too.”
If you are going to the shops, ask them if they need anything. Maybe milk, bread or something simple that they can pop in the microwave so they don’t have to worry about cooking a meal. Maybe even get them a little treat that will make them feel good even if just for a moment.
Avoid saying things that imply they need to adopt a more positive mindset. People who struggle with their mental health don’t choose to feel that way and if they could simply think more positively to feel better they definitely would!
Check in so they know you are thinking of them but let them know that there are no expectations. Try a text to say “I just wondered how you are feeling, no need to reply straight away but I’m thinking of you and I’m here whenever you need me.” Knowing people care makes all the difference.
Don’t mock the mental health of celebrities or in any other context. When you make fun of the breakdowns of high profile people you are telling all of the people you know that you don’t take their mental health issues seriously either.
If you need support with your mental health or you are supporting someone with theirs and you would like some advice and support yourself here are some organisations that can help:
Mind - www.mind.org.uk
The Samaritans - www.samaritans.org
Rethink Mental Illness - www.rethink.org
Young Minds - www.youngminds.org.uk
