Saying no is an act of bravery, not weakness

If you use social media regularly or have seen the sporting news in recent weeks you will probably be aware of the name Naomi Osaka.

Osaka is a highly ranked tennis player who recently pulled out of the French Open. She did this because she was required to speak to the press after her games and she found that this was a detriment to her mental health, causing anxiety and exacerbating serious bouts of depression. 

When I read about this my first reaction was to feel sad for her. She’s a brilliant athlete so why does it matter whether she speaks to the press after a game or not? I’m not at all sporty and don’t follow major sporting events so maybe I am being naive but surely she shouldn’t have to sacrifice an important eventing milestone in her career just for that and, if communicating with the press is an absolute must, why couldn’t a compromise be reached by way of a different approach to communicating with the press?! My second reaction was ‘good for her’. Osaka recognised what was causing a dip in her mental health and decided that it wasn’t worth potentially making it even worse.

Now there are two things that have bothered me about this situation. Firstly, the fact that the powers that be in the world of elite tennis have not provided Osaka with any other option but to withdraw thus sending a message that they don't really care about the mental wellbeing of their athletes. I find this appalling. The second thing that has bothered me about this is the amount of people, some famous and some simply keyboard warriors, claiming she is lying about her mental health just to avoid doing something she just doesn’t want to do. One high profile person even wrote a whole article about how she was being ‘petulant’. Again, this sends a message that if you need to take a step away from something to look after your mental health that you are just being spoiled. This is simply not true, in fact removing yourself from a situation that you know is detrimental to your mental health is often an act of self-care and it isn’t up to anyone else to tell you otherwise.

So, I want everyone reading this to know that it is absolutely ok to say no to or step away from something that causes your mental health to decline and, in doing so, you are not petulant, spoiled, lazy, being silly or weak. Quite the opposite, by saying no in this situation you are making yourself a priority and, in a world that, as Osaka’s situation has proven, would prefer we soldiered through the things that cause mental illness or worsen already known mental health conditions, this is brave.

In this age of social media, everyone seems to think they are an expert and people will be very quick to share their opinion. We’ve seen this a lot recently, not only with Osaka but also with Harry and Meghan, but, regardless of how you feel about a person’s actions, please remember that no matter how famous or high profile a person may be, when it comes to their mental health the only person who can decide what is right for them is them and, in some circumstances, their doctor or their therapist. 

If you have found yourself in a situation where you have received backlash from others for putting yourself first and stepping away from a triggering or painful situation, please know that this says far more about them than it does about you. Likewise, if you have found yourself judging a person’s decisions or accusing them of lying, being weak or silly, please PLEASE always keep in mind that you never know what a person is really dealing with and however they decide to protect their mental health is not for others to debate.